“Grudges are for those who insist that they are owed something; forgiveness, however, is for those who are substantial enough to move on.”
― Criss Jami, American Poet
Grudges are poison. They are poison to the person who’s holding it, and if nothing is done about them, they are poison to the entire workplace.
Recently, I was talking to a director of an organization, and it was amazing how much ongoing strife within the organization was caused by resentment and pure bitterness. Something that started so small turned into such a big mess. And that’s exactly what a grudge will do—it grows as time passes.
Where there is a grudge, there is no trust; and whenever there is an absence of trust, teamwork will be lacking. And how can an organization successfully function if there is no teamwork?
You WILL get your feelings hurt in the workplace. Something will not go your way, someone will say something to you that you feel is insensitive, and your work will get criticized.
You can’t just keep a counting record of each person’s wrongdoings and let those bitter feelings fester.
If the problem is not that big of an issue, get over it and don’t take it personally. If it is something that you feel is a big deal, address the problem to the aggressor in a professional, non-confrontational manner and allow yourself to forgive him or her.
By all means, go to the Human Resources Department if the problem warrants you to; but from my experience, it’s usually smaller nuisances that people hold grudges towards.
As Anne Lamott, American novelist, says, “Not forgiving is like drinking rat poison and then waiting for the rat to die.”
Do yourself and your whole organization a favor and nip all the bitter feelings in the bud.